8/19/08

Top 30 Signs You’re Addicted to Jiu Jitsu

You know you're addicted to Jiu-Jitsu when...

1. On your way home after Jiu-Jitsu class you always stop to go shopping so you can show off your kimono and belt.

2. All of your enemies, "gotta big mouth!"

3. You begin pronouncing the word Jiu-Jitsu (jew-jit-su) as "zhuzhitsu."

4. You're constantly thinking up a new setup or move that no one has discovered just so you can “put your name on it."

5. While in bed with your wife or girlfriend you're doing Jiu-Jitsu reversals to maneuver her into the position you want.

6. While talking with friends, bosses, or relatives you eye them up and down to see which would be easier to get on them: the armbar or the choke.

7. You're constantly staring at other people's ears while at bars and clubs to see who is a grappler.

8. Only when you're explaining a move to a friend do you develop a slight Brazilian accent.

9. Waiters, waitresses, and the cable guy are all now "my friend, my friend."

10. You turn over in bed at night by posting your foot and sliding your hips to turn instead of just rolling over.

11. You spend hours on end looking at BJJ sites trying to think of things you can say.

12. You try to get grandma to do a footlock on you.

13. Your family members begin to lose feeling in their joints.

14. Last night you dreamt that Royce Gracie put you in an armbar, and when you woke up your arm was caught between your desk and the edge of your bed.

15. Asked how BJJ deals with multiple attackers you say, "I don’t know, I've never found more than one person dumb enough to try."

16. You find it fun putting house pets (e.g. dogs and cats) into locks, chokes, and holds.

17. You start wanting to test your BJJ skills against big guys at bars and clubs.

18. It becomes increasingly difficult to say, "So you’re a black belt in Taekwondo, that's very impressive," with a straight face.

19. You catch yourself attempting to pass your girlfriend’s guard.

20. You talk in broken English, even though you're a college graduate.

21. You practice chokes on anyone that turns his back to you.

22. Someone tries to give you a hug you immediately drop into base and execute a hip throw.

23. Your girlfriend comes over and you greet her with an open guard instead of a hug.

24. You find yourself twisting and mangling your ears trying to get the cauliflower to look cool.

25. You start teaching your 10-month-old baby the mount, the side mount, and the guard.

26. Breaking joints becomes an everyday thing.

27. While nobody is around, you start doing submissions to your pillow.

28. Your Gi has more patches on it than a whole company of Girl Scout uniforms.

29. During the winter you wear your Gi top around the house instead of a sweater or turning on the heat.

30. You’re trying to get your friends to the BJJ dojo just to show them what a great Lion-Killer you have.

11 comments:

Brent said...

i am so guilty of #10!

Conan said...

I either do, or have done, at least half of them. I'm not saying which ones though.

Carlo said...

I LoL with #10... sooo true!

Devin said...

LOL yeah #10 actually did get me, i always do it lol

Anonymous said...

18 is genius :)

Awais"The Bass"Manir said...

You Got Me #4
I Try My Fucking Best To Make A Move Only If I Had Thought OF The Mr Wonderful (UFC 123)-(Phil Davis)

Chyson said...

It's true... #5

Chrislley said...

#10 sooooo trueeee XD

KrizD said...

Very funny I like it, #7 and #18 so true :)

Anonymous said...

Lmbooo #18 is soooo true!

Janlee said...

10 and 16.

Regards from Spain.Oss